Review: All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill

All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill
Series: All Our Yesterdays, #1
Published: 2013, Disney Hyperion
Genre: Young Adult Science Fiction, Dystopian
Format: Physical ARC, 368 pages
Source: Won via contest hosted by Literary Rambles
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Time travel isn’t a wonder; it’s an abomination.

Before I begin my review, I have a confession to make: I cannot say that I've read or enjoyed very many time travel stories. Partially due to a general disinterest, and partially because I frequently find myself more confused than anything else. I do enjoy the "what if" questions that are inherent to any discussion of time travel, but I have a difficult time understanding the pure abstractions that time travel books have in plenty.

Em and Finn have been kept in cells for months, tortured by the Doctor and the Director in the hope that they'd reveal the location of classified information. Through it all, Em has a nagging suspicion that she knows more than she possibly can. A hidden list confirms that Em and Finn's have suffered the same fate many times in different pasts, always unable to stop the terrible destruction being done to their world. After more than a dozen failures led by previous incarnations of themselves, Em and Finn grimly agree on what their mission will be this time: kill the Doctor before he can ever create the time machine.

But things are much more complicated than simply murdering a sadistic genius. Before he became the Doctor, he was no more than James, an idealistic, intelligent boy coping with great loss. And Em and Finn were his best friends. Em is willing to do whatever it takes, however, to save her younger self Marina from enduring the suffering she's been through.

All Our Yesterdays is a time travel novel, but I'd argue that the actual concept of time travel takes a back seat to other aspects. Here time travel is a means to an end and also the reason the story exists, but little more. Neither Em nor Marina care too much about how or why the machine exists; it does (or will), and now they need to do something about it. Also notable is the fact that once Em and Finn travel to the past (Marina's present), that's where they stay. Flashbacks reveal a little bit of their lives between their present and Marina's present, but the action of the story takes place over a few days in one specific year.

At its heart, this story is about Em's relationship with herself. As she tells herself and Finn repeatedly, everything she is doing is for Marina, the sixteen-year-old girl she was prior to the creation of the time travel machine. She never wants Marina to have to suffer as she has, even if it means killing the boy she once loved. Even if it means that she and the future she's from will cease to exist. All Our Yesterdays is narrated by both a desperate, disillusioned Em and a spoiled but self-depreciating Marina.

Of the two protagonists, Em is perhaps a bit easier to understand. She's suffered through many tragedies and is willing to lay her existence on the line in order to save Marina from becoming her. In many ways, Em fits a traditional dystopian heroine mold. Unlike Em, Marina doesn't feel strongly about many things, and she doesn't have the drive that Em does. She's lived a life of privilege and any problems she does have (superficial friends, possible unrequited love, not much self-esteem) further demonstrate how naive she is. And I appreciated that. Unlike with Em, readers really got to experience Marina's growth. I also appreciated having clear images of who Marina is, who she can become as Em, and possible events that develop her character from one to the other.

Because this story is so focused on Em and Marina, I did think the secondary character development suffered a bit. Future Finn is a constant presence in the book, but as he did everything to aid Em I never could get a solid grasp on him (nor see much how he differed from the present Finn). James (and his future self) is a fascinating character, but I still wished that even he was a bit more developed. Em's drive is so intense that anything not directly related to Marina tends to get pushed to the side.

For a story about time travel, I do think Terrill's story is a bit too limiting. As a reader, I developed a pretty solid understanding of how things were and what they become. I mentioned earlier that I did appreciate seeing the beginning of Marina's transformation into Em, but it was only the beginning. Everything that occurred to Em, Finn, and James between Marina's narration and Em's is very vague. I know that James becomes evil due to misguided desires because I'm told that's what happens. I know that Em and Finn form strong bonds after being on the run for years because of how they act now. Terrill utilizes a few flashbacks to reveal some of Em's past trauma, but, to be quite frank, I always found myself wishing for more from those sections.

The ending broke me. It was poignant, tragic, and utterly perfect. I might have been able to guess this ultimate course had I done so, but honestly I was too wrapped up in the book's present to spare any thoughts on speculation. It was well done and wrapped up loose ends as much as one can possibly expect in a book that deals with so many abstractions and half-formed concepts. Apparently this is the first part of a duology, however. I have no idea where Terrill can possibly take the story from here, but I was impressed enough with her debut that I will stick around to see what happens next to these characters.

Rating: 4 stars